I felt lonely today. Wandering aisles, not enjoying what I do. Life as a grown up is hard. I have to come up with the rest of the money AND extra for my trip and... I don't know. Today I felt so lonely at work. I felt like a kid that lost his mom and is wandering aimlessly. And trust me, I know that feeling all too well.
I'm not saying my life sucks, I'm not saying it's good, I'm just saying it's difficult. You don't think about that as you grow up. You just think of how awesome it will be and how free and fun it'll be. But no. It's not that simple. Half the time you're trying to save up enough money for next month's rent plus you got bills and food.
Regardless, I am blessed. In my loneliness I though of what I had experienced. I went to an awesome paint rave with close friends. We had fun, laughed, and danced. I saw beauty and horror. My hair was crusted over with paint and I looked awesome under a black light. We ate, we sang, we screamed, all in unison. There is a lot I am thankful for. When I got out of work and rushed to my partner's house, I couldn't wait to jump into his arms. The feeling of coming home to someone is awesome.
So no, my life is not easy, it is not a poor life, it is just a difficult life. These are times of turmoil, twisting against the current. But I'm trying my best. And if you ever feel lonely, just think of the good times and how many more you will experience once you go with the flow. Fighting the current gets difficult so either float or find yourself someone to struggle with.
In the end, it will be worth it.
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